


Flowers On The Floor

by scorp_bus



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Anxiety, Canon Trans Character, Cute, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff, M/M, Trans Male Character, ballet! david, david is rude but hot, druggie! matteo, kinda slow burn, matteo mh is touched upon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-22
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-05-16 16:33:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19321945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scorp_bus/pseuds/scorp_bus
Summary: Matteo didn’t mean to get caught.How was he to know that it was an a-listed, ex-Soviet building that had been turned into a prestigious dance academy? The side of the building looked like the side of any old building, Communist or not. To him it was a stupid, old building that needed livening up.The police didn’t agree, neither did the owner of the Berlin Arts Academy.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> So this is like my first Druck story, which I had been wanting to write for ages but I have only just finished my exams rip
> 
> It's like lowkey inspired by Step Up because I watched it when I should've been revising and liked the storyline lol 
> 
> I hope you like the story :))

It was a dull Thursday evening. The boys were in Matteo’s living room, looking for a way to exist more than just in this room. The room seemed to be closing in on them and they all needed an escape from it. No one knows who came up with the idea, but soon they were crammed on to two bikes cycling to the nearest hardware store. Five minutes later, they had a bag full of spray cans and mischievous looks on their faces. 

They cycled around for a while, mainly to build up the courage to something so illegal, but also to find somewhere to leave their mark. Matteo was the most unsure, never really doing anything outside of his comfort zone. He liked to stay within what he knew and mostly avoided what didn’t know or understand.

So how he was convinced to vandalise a random building in Berlin, he has no idea. 

Eventually, they found probably the only building in the whole of Berlin that didn’t any graffiti on it. They jumped off their bikes and hid them around the corner. The four of them emptied the bag of spray cans and all grabbed a colour, before giving each other a nod to each other. 

They all began creating their own artwork. Matteo, not being very original decided to write his own name. He put all his attention to each curve and flick of the letters, making it in his opinion look really cool. He debated what colour to fill in the outline of his name. 

Jonas looked around warily and motioned to the others to stop spraying, before starting to look around the area. Carlos tried to get Matteo’s attention so that he could look to, however, he was too much in his own world.

At first, he didn’t catch on. Jonas and Carlos must have seen the blue lights in the distance because they both yelled ‘run’, dropping their spray cans. Abdi followed suit. Matteo, however, was too focused on the ‘M’ he was filling in to notice Jonas pulling on his jacket and yelling at him to run. 

Until it was too late. 

It was only when he looked up to see a police officer instead of his friends that he realised he’d been caught. He knew if the boys had been there he’d have put up a fight, but right now he felt defeated. He dropped the spray can he was holding immediately and followed the policeman’s orders, without resistance. The handcuffs rubbed into his wrists and bent his arms awkwardly as he sat in the back of the car, making an already uncomfortable drive even worse. 

He didn’t notice the tear rolling down his cheek until the policeman checked his mirror and gave him a sympathetic smile. 

“What’s your name and how old are you kid?” The policeman asked, seeming to pity Matteo for some reason.

“My names Matteo, and I’m seventeen,” Matteo replied, sighing as if he had just realised how stupid he looked. 

“Where did your friends go?” the policeman questioned, hoping to get answers out of the pitiful boy. 

“It was just me, no one else was there,” Matteo responded easily. It was the first lie he ever learnt. He and his friends said he so much that it didn’t even feel like a lie anymore, instead a reminder. A reminder that despite everything, they still each others back even when they weren’t round. 

The policeman knew it was a lie but kept quiet until they got to the police station. He helped Matteo out the car and led him into the police station. Matteo felt so out of place, surrounded by rough looking men who all had the same snarl on their faces. 

He was led right into a room at the back of the station. It was a small room with no windows, just a lightbulb hanging from a wire. The room was bare, bar two cheap chairs and a wooden table placed in the middle of it. Matteo didn’t know if the room was designed to purposefully intimidate the occupants of it, but if it was then it was doing a good job. He was sat in the seat opposite to the door and his handcuffs were chained to the table. The policeman left the room, leaving Matteo to think about the seriousness of the situation for the first time. 

Matteo’s body started shaking of its own accord. He could feel the anxiety rising inside of him as his leg furiously tapped the floor beneath it. He completely lost focus of his senses and started looking around frantically, searching for familiarity. He felt the need to bite his nails but they were chained to the table, causing him to stress further. 

A different police officer walked in. She was small and chubby with a, as Matteo would call, stupid look on her face. However, it quickly changed when she saw the state of the boy in front of her. She sat down in the seat opposite him and stared him in the eyes, making Matteo feel smaller than he already did.

“Matteo, I need to ask you a few questions about this evening, is that okay?” The police officer said in a soft voice. Matteo just nodded in response.

“Okay. First, I need your full name and your parents,” she started, “we need to contact your parents as you’re under eighteen.”

“My name is Matteo Florenzi, and I- er, I don’t live with my parents,” Matteo said, his face turning red with involuntary embarrassment for his living situation, “my Dad lives in Italy and my Mum, she’s, um, she’s in a home at the moment.”

The police officer gave him a sympathetic smile and wrote something down on a clipboard. When she looked up again she sighed at Matteo.

“Could you tell me why you, and others who may or may not have been with you, thought it was a good idea to spray paint an old Soviet building that’s now the Berlin Arts Academy?” The police officer questioned. “Was it deep-rooted anti-Communist beliefs or perhaps just aggression because of an ex who attends the school?”

Matteo didn’t know how to respond. This woman thought that he was either an imperialist or hung up over an ex. He wished he was that motivated to do something for that reason. He was just being stupid with his friends.

“I, er, I didn’t know the building was that important,” Matteo muttered, feeling stupid and way out of his depths. 

“Well, Matteo, it is and you have caused expensive damage to one of the oldest exterior parts of the building,” The police officer replied in an authoritative tone that made Matteo sink lower into his chair, “now, there must be someone we can contact about this incident and that pick you up, so we know you don’t go vandalize other important parts of our history.”

“Yeah, I live with my friend Mia Winters, I have her number if you want it,” Matteo told the police officer and nodded at him.

He gestured to his pocket, where his phone was. Instead of taking the phone from his pocket, she unhandcuffed him, finally freeing him from the table and his racing thoughts. He grabbed his phone and quickly found Mia’s number. 

She wrote the number down and then left the room. He aimlessly scrolled through all the messages he’d received in the hour that he’d been arrested. Most of the messages were from Jonas and consisted of dramatic apologies. Matteo didn’t know how much time he’d have so sent Jonas a quick message.

Matteo: chill bro  
ill call you when mia comes and gets me 

He then slipped his phone back into his pocket and waited for the lady to return. It wasn’t long before she opened the door and led him to the reception of the station. He sat in a squishy chair, placed ideally in the corner of the room. People walked past and gave him concerned looks. His leg was still shaking, and he was now biting down on the little bit of nail he had left, after other anxious occasions. 

However, right now, he wished he hadn’t been so overdramatic in those situations, and saved some nails for this overwhelming occasion. Time felt like it had stopped, or he was in a different parallel universe where minutes lasted an hour. Every second passed felt like he had just watched all the leaves on the only tree outside turn brown and fall off the tree. 

His mindlessness was broken when he noticed Mia and Alex walk into the police station. Matteo immediately went over to them and hugged Mia, who didn’t look too pleased to see him but hugged him anyway. He didn’t dare look at Alex, knowing that he’d never been his biggest fan over the months they co lived together. 

Mia had to fill out a bunch of forms that looked official and uninteresting. All Matteo could do was stand awkwardly as Alex and Mia conversed with the receptionist about something mundane. 

“Mr Florenzi, we will contact you over the next week about the decided consequence for your actions today, don’t expect them to be fair,” the police officer who questioned him said, looking him dead in the eyes. 

Matteo gulped and nodded, not knowing what the hell he could have to do in penance for destroying private, protected property.


	2. Chapter Two

A week later, Matteo found himself in front of the Berlin Arts Academy. The front of the building was actually quite beautiful. It was white brick with black and gold accents outlining the railings and windows. Matteo was surprised he’d never noticed the building, despite it being a short walk from his apartment. 

Next to him was a police officer, who had a similar expression to the one Matteo was wearing. He shook his head and looked at Matteo, “out of all the buildings you decide to doodle on, you had to pick the nicest, didn’t you?”

 

Matteo just looked down awkwardly, before he felt the officer grab his arm and begin to gently pull him to the door. When the door was opened, it was like he was seeing into a different world. So many people were talking, but it wasn’t loud. There were people constantly moving in and out of him, but it didn’t feel busy. He looked around in awe of the awards adorning the walls and the props scattered everywhere. 

The officer led him down different corridors and up different stairs and around different corners until he found himself in front of Madame Waldoff’s office, the headmistress. 

“Knock then,” the police officer said to Matteo, shoving him forward slightly.

Matteo sighed and knocked on the door. 

“One minute, thank you,” He heard someone reply, amongst what sounded like a heated conversation. 

Less than a minute later, a dark-haired boy flew out the door, an upset look on his face. Matteo looked back momentarily, unsure as to what happened to the boy. He quickly refocused and stepped into the office. 

Madame Waldoff looked at Matteo’s baggy jeans and grandpa sweater in disgust before exclaiming, “Ah, you must be Matteo Florenzi.”

“Uh, yeah,” Matteo replied awkwardly. 

“Take a seat,” Madame Waldoff said, gesturing to a seat, “now, thanks to your actions, the school has to raise enough money in order to repaint the wall. I have been reviewing the details of the case and I have come to the decision that, like some of our students, you lack direction. I easily could’ve agreed to the six-month prison sentence that the court suggested, but I didn’t feel it was fair to rid you of your education. Instead, you will do two hundred hours of community service, here at BAA. If you refuse, I will have you sent straight to a prison cell but I feel this may be more beneficial to your future.”

Matteo was at a loss of words. All week he had been preparing for the worst. He refused to see Jonas and the boys, hardly leaving his room. Hans and Mia had been giving him a hard time, researching all about the minimum consequences for vandalism. It had been scary and by the following Monday, he had stopped sleeping altogether, and spent the dark hours memorising every detail of his room, in fear of losing it. 

“Wait, really? Community service?” Matteo responded, letting out a sigh of relief.

“What? Do you want something harder?” Madame Waldoff questioned, Matteo, shook his head quickly. 

He wondered why Madame Waldoff had chosen to see something more than just a rebellious teenager, who wanted to challenge authority. Because he didn’t. Although, he could see how easy it would be to just read that from what happened last Thursday. He thanked his lucky stars that she took kindly to him, knowing full well he wouldn’t survive in prison.

“Right, well you can start tonight. I’ll introduce you to the caretaker and he can show you what to do,” The headmistress said, standing up.

Matteo stood up too quickly, the chair scraping against the floor angrily. He muttered out an apology before following her out of the room. 

This time, as he walked around the school everyone he walked past stared at him. He could feel their eyes burning into the back of his skull as he weaved in and out the judgemental students. Madame Waldoff may have noticed that the students were looking at him, but she didn’t say anything to anyone regardless. 

The students weren’t like the students at his school. At his school he saw all types of people, everywhere he went there was someone different. Everyone existed as themselves, they wore what they wanted and hung out with who they wanted. At BAA, they all looked the same and acted the same. He felt like he was walking through a weird mirror maze as the same person kept looking at him over and over, the only difference being the position. 

Soon, Madame Waldoff presented him to a scruffy looking man in blue overalls. The man had a crooked smile, showing the lack of teeth within his mouth. He looked at Matteo like he was a five-year-old child, and honestly, Matteo didn’t feel much older. 

“John, this is Matteo your new apprentice,” Madame Waldoff said to Dave, adding a nasty spin to the word apprentice. 

John looked Matteo up and down, before looking back at the headteacher. He brought his mouth to her ear and whispered quickly, Matteo not being able to catch onto what he was saying. Madame Waldoff looked concerned, but soon a smile was back on her face. 

“Don’t you worry about Matteo, he will keep up just fine,” She said, glaring at Matteo who nodded quickly in agreement.

Madame Waldoff left after that brief conversation, leaving Matteo to stand awkwardly next to John, waiting for instruction. John just muttered something about going to a storage cupboard, allowing Matteo to follow behind him, like a lost duck. 

As they were walking, Matteo noticed that the students were starting to disperse, with mainly only dancers left in practice rooms. He could hear the soft sound of music coming from various locations, feeling oddly calmed by the gentle classical music. He was not ever going to say that to Jonas or the boys. 

They soon reached the storage cupboard, in which John promptly told Matteo to take his jumper on and put the overalls on instead. Matteo, despite himself not always having the cleanest clothes, grimaced at the sight of the dingy overalls John was expecting him to wear. He sucked it up and put the overalls on, already smelling the past twenty years of sweat that had never been cleaned. 

“Right, you look like you need an easy job,” John said in a mocking tone, which Matteo was slightly grateful for, “You can sweep the corridors and empty the bins in the rooms. You can go into practice rooms, just don’t disturb the dancers.”

Matteo nodded along and was handed a broom and a bin bag. 

Matteo started at the bottom of the school and worked his way up. After two hours, his back ached like hell and he thought if he cracked it one more time it would break in half. He ended up slumped against a wall, trying to catch his breath. The relief of sitting down washed over him and he felt like he could stay like that forever. 

He could hear down the corridor, whistling to some 60’s song and getting closer to him. Matteo didn’t want to embarrass himself on his first day as an unpaid ‘apprentice’, so quickly got up and flung himself into the closest room, shutting the door and falling to the floor again. 

He was so worried about not being caught slacking, that he completely forgot to see if the room was in use. So he was equally as surprised to see a dancer in here as the dancer was to see Matteo. 

He was standing in the middle of the room with a tight white v-neck on and black tights. The way the sun was softly glowing through the window lit him up, the reflection of his sweat glistened face glowing in the sunset. Matteo wasn’t sure the boy knew how he looked right now, but he thought he could look at him forever. Matteo could only describe him as golden.

The boy looked at him with piercing brown eyes, his arms crossed tightly across his chest. He could feel the boy almost staring through him, trying to see something interesting on the wall behind him. The music that was playing ended and the two boys were staring at each other in silence.

It was the dancer who broke it first.

“Who are you?” The boy asked, edging closer to Matteo but still trying to keep his distance.

“Oh, I, er, it doesn’t matter,” Matteo spluttered out, never being so intimidated by someone his own age, “I’m going now.”

“You have to tell me your name first, I saw you go into Madame Waldoff’s office earlier.”

“M- my name is Matteo, and yeah I saw you leave,” Matteo responded, already halfway out the door. 

“Well, Matteo, stay out of my practice room or you’ll be seeing a lot more of Madame Waldoff’s office.” 

Matteo slipped out the door and leaned up against it, catching his breath. There was something about that boy, almost a glint in his eye when he saw Matteo. Whatever it was, he wasn’t going to be leaving Matteo’s mind anytime soon. 

Just then, John walked past and gave Matteo a concerned look, “You already there Matthew.”

“Uh, it’s Matteo, but yeah just had a run in with a dancer,” Matteo replied, mentally rolling his eyes at the name mistake.

“God, they really can be nasty,” John agreed, then bumbled off again doing his own thing.

Matteo finished at ten o’clock. It had only been the first five hours of his community service, but he could already tell that the next two hundred were probably going to be the longest of his life. 

After a short bus ride home, he crawled into his bed. He could feel his eyes drooping as every second past, but that dancer was still on is mind. And his eyes that stared into his soul still watched until he slipped into unconsciousness.


	3. Chapter Three

It was the next day and Matteo was sat with his friends in his school’s cafeteria. Everyone was talking slightly too loudly around him and all his brain could focus on was the noises that were surrounding him. His ears pricked at the sound of crisp bags rustling, and he had to fight the urge to cover his ears when someone scraped their chair on the hard flooring. He wasn’t sure if it was because he hadn’t been to school for a while, too stressed about his punishment or if his brain was just fucking with him. He would rather it be the first one, however, he knew it wasn’t the first time he had become all too aware of his surroundings.

It had started when he was younger. For years he thought it was normal to flinch at certain noises and hide at loud sounds. It wasn’t until Jonas’ Mum slammed a door, by accident, that caused Matteo to have a panic attack that he realised it wasn’t something that happened to all eleven-year-olds. That day he said it was because he was frightened of thunder, and the sounded reminded him of storms. Although, ever since he had become all too aware of his unusual responses to certain noises. He didn’t know why he was so scared of loud noises, but something told him that it was because of his parents. His parents that he had to run away from. 

“Earth to Matteo,” he heard a voice say, a hand flapping wildly in front of his face. 

Matteo looked up to see his three friends staring at him with confused looks on their faces. He gave them a small smile to try and diffuse the tension. None of them were disillusioned to the fact that Matteo wasn’t really in the room he occupied most of the time, living in his own silent bliss. 

“Sorry I zoned out, I’m so tired,” Matteo said, through a yawn, “I didn’t know how much hard work cleaning a school would be.”

“Shit bro, why did you let yourself get caught? You didn’t snake on us did you?” Carlos pestered, lowering his voice for the last question.

“It was better one of us than all of us, and bro of course not,” Matteo replied. It’s true, it was better that only one of them was caught. He didn’t think Madame Waldorf would’ve been too pleased if she had thought it had been a fun night out for the boys.

“Thank God, Kiki would’ve lost her shit if she thought I was involved in something like that,” Carlos said, sighing deeply in relief.

“But you were involved,” Jonas said, looking confused.

“Yeah, but she doesn’t know that,” Carlos replied as if it was obvious, “wait, dude, if it’s a ballet school are there loads of hot girls?”

Matteo looked at the other boys to see if he was hearing things correctly but they both looked equally as interested, not noticing the dramatic change in conversation direction. 

“I don’t know, I wasn’t really focusing on the dancers, more so on my broom,” Matteo said.

The three boys looked upset as if he wasn’t fulfilling his role of wingman whilst in this school of ‘hot girls’. Matteo just rolled his eyes and the conversation moved onto the next thing. He decided to not mention the dancer he saw yesterday. The image of him standing in the sunlight still sharp in his mind. Part of him was excited to work today, hoping to catch a glimpse of the golden boy again. 

Halfway through lunch Jonas pulled out a joint and showed to each boy, the look itself was asking if they wanted to join. Both Carlos and Abdi shook their heads but Matteo nodded and stood up from his seat. He grabbed his bag and slung it over his shoulder, being empty as usual seeing as Matteo never actually brought work to school. 

The two headed to the courtyard outside and sat on their favourite bench. Neither said anything as Jonas lit them and put one in Matteo’s mouth. They sat in silence for some time, letting the smoke fill their lungs and wash an immediate sense of relief through Matteo’s body. 

Matteo liked getting high. Not because he was addicted to the feeling of it, even though he still kind of was. It was more so the escape he got. When he was high it was easier to ignore everything around him and focus on what he wanted to focus on. He liked to focus on trees mostly. Their existence was silent but necessary. A tree never purposefully made a noise, and no one ever complained that it didn’t. 

Matteo wanted to be a tree. Silent but necessary.

He had never felt necessary. He felt he was more of an afterthought. No one thinks primarily of him, he always related to someone or something else. Part of Matteo liked it, he found comfort in people not knowing enough about him to think solely of him. Most of him hated it though, he wanted to be his own person. He wanted people to know him. However, he never let anyone close enough to see his existence as anything other than secondary.

“Is the community service okay? I know we were joking earlier, but I’m sorry that you got caught - I really am,” Jonas said, looking at Matteo. 

“Yeah, it's whatever bro. I took the fall this time, but I know you guys have my back,” Matteo responded. He really did hope they had his back.

“Exactly, collateral damage,” Jonas explained, “Although, I really hope there isn’t a next time.”

Matteo nodded along with him to praying that something like this didn’t happen again. Mostly because he probably would be kicked out the flatshare if he did. 

They returned back to the silence they had been sitting in and Matteo was glad because wasn’t sure if Jonas knew how much Matteo wanted what he said to be true. Matteo turned to look at Jonas, who seemed transfixed on his ex who was across the courtyard. 

Matteo had always been friends with Jonas. He couldn’t think of a time when he hadn’t gone round to Jonas’ after school to be greeted with fresh cookies and a warm smile. Jonas’ mother took warmly to Matteo, always sneaking him an extra cookie or slipping a sandwich into his schoolbag. Matteo thought he was the best Mum in the world. He wrote more Mother's Day cards to her than his own mother. Jona’s mother took the cards lightly, not seeming to realise how honest Matteo was really being. He saw her less nowadays, but he would always hug her when they ran into each other shopping, and she still gave him a hug that felt like home. 

☆

It was three thirty when school finished and Matteo, along with his friends, all bundled into the car Jonas’ parents had given to him after passing his driving test. It was an old, run-down banger but to Matteo and the boys, it was a gift straight from God. Matteo had called shotgun, obviously, and Carlos had claimed the aux cord. Jonas had offered to drop Matteo off at the Berlin Arts Academy, saying it was the least he could do after what happened. Matteo happily obliged.

On the way they had the windows wound down, music blaring out the poor quality speakers. The four boys felt free, singing along loudly to whatever came onto the stereo. That freedom was short lived for Matteo, who’s stomach sunk when the dreaded building came into sight. They had already started driving past students, who gave the car a dirty look. 

Jonas felt no shame in pulling up right outside the building. Matteo could only laugh as he fell out of the car, tripping on the low door frame. Students were staring and pointing as they passed by, clearly disturbed by the state of the car and the music that was being played. As he walked towards the entrance he turned back to see his friends waving him off. To mock the dancers around him, he decided to do an adlib spin, almost falling over his untied shoelaces. As he did, he looked up and saw a certain boy looking from a high up window, a smile on his lips. Matteo looked away quickly, not wanting the boy to see him, but when he looked again the boy had gone. 

Matteo headed to the storage cupboard and slipped the nasty overalls on again, still not smelling any better. He grabbed the broom and a bin bag again, and like yesterday began cleaning the oversized school. This time he had brought headphones to keep himself company when cleaning the, already, pristine floors.

He heard loud noises coming from one of the rooms, so peeked his head into one of the windows that were lined along the wall. Momentarily forgetting how weird it was to have windows inside a building. In the room, there seemed to be a ballet class, with both boys and girls paired up doing complicated lifts and spins. 

On the floor in the corner of the room was the golden boy. He had headphones in too and was watching the dancers as he stretched. There was something lonely about the boy that Matteo’s heartache. Why wasn’t he dancing? Matteo thought. He was pretty enough too. 

Matteo started sweeping again as quickly as he had stopped, wanting the job to be over as soon as possible. On only his second day, he had already figured out a number of tricks to make the job easier than it already was. He didn’t know if John the caretaker would be too happy about the shortcuts he was taking, but honestly, he didn’t really seem to care about anything. 

Halfway through the ‘shift’, if you could even call it that, Matteo received a text to Carlos. It was asking if he wanted to be picked up at nine thirty so they could drink that night. Matteo thought about it, but he knew how tired he was after last night, and declined but offered a sesh at his during the weekend. 

He knew it was a mistake offering the apartment at his, it always was. But he always had the fear that if he rejected their plans too many times that they would stop inviting him altogether. That’s why he would suggest a meet up on his own terms, a way that he could control what they did and for how long.

An hour later and he had finally made it to the top floor. Up here, he realised was where the smaller, private practice rooms were. This meant there were more rooms to sweep and bins to empty. He had also become ballsier throughout the evening, deciding that he could still empty bins with students in if they didn’t notice him. 

That’s what he did until he came across a room that was playing familiar music. He peered through the window, once again, and saw the golden boy. However, this time he was dancing. Although, Matteo recognised the dance as the same one as the boys from downstairs. 

The way the boy moved so gracefully across the floor left Matteo in awe. He was entranced in the smallest movements the boy made, every flick of the wrist and point of his foot. The way he commanded the world around him to move in such a way that it looked like every object in the room was watching him as intently as Matteo was. The sun was still lighting the boy up, and Matteo wondered if he paid the sun to follow him wherever he went. 

Matteo just tried to ignore him as he slipped into the room. However, the music immediately stopped and the boy was staring again. 

Matteo began awkwardly emptying the bin as the boy stared at him, the same look in his eye. Matteo didn’t know what came over himself, but soon he was turning to look the boy in the eyes.

“Did you like my dancing earlier?” Matteo asked, a small smirk on his face. The boy looked shocked for a second, but the glare on his face returned as fast as it went.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” the boy, snapped although there was a slight redness gracing his cheeks.

“Really? Because I could practically hear your clapping from outside,” Matteo replied, not knowing where this confidence came from. The boy shook his head and smiled at Matteo before looking away. 

“You sound far too cocky for someone who is essentially a janitor,” The boy retorted, still not making eye contact. 

“Damn. Look, all I was gonna say is that I’m flattered that you were looking at me, and that my name is Matteo,” Matteo said a smile on his face. 

Inside he was screaming. This is not something he did. Normally, if he saw someone even glancing at him he’d spend the whole day worrying that something was wrong with him. And now, apparently, he was encouraging it?

“I wasn’t looking at you!” The boy exclaimed, clearly embarrassed about the situation. 

Matteo just put his hands up in retreated and stepped back to the door. He grabbed the bin bag that he had dropped beside him and grabbed the handle to the door. 

As he was leaving, the boy muttered something directed at Matteo but not loud enough for Matteo to hear.

“What?” Matteo asked, turning back to look at the boy once again.

“David. My name is David.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this is going too slowly or what :///


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- trigger warning of unconsented sexual advancements   
> \- panic attack
> 
> just to let everyone know :)

David. David. David.

Matteo had never had any sort of preference over names before. He didn’t understand the ‘baby name’ craze or the hatred of some names and the love for others. He thought it was stupid. It was a name, how nice could a name be? 

That was until he heard David’s for the first time. He didn’t understand how a name could fit a person so perfectly. Every fibre of the boy’s being screamed David, and he realised what people meant by people suiting their name. Matteo didn’t think anyone else in the world had the right to be called David anymore. That name was reserved for his David only. Who wasn’t even his. 

He laid in bed that night whispering the name over and over to himself, hearing the name roll of his tongue like the most beautiful song he’d ever heard. He wanted to scream the name as loud as possible, hearing it echoing throughout the city. He wanted the birds sing it, making it into a blissful melody. David.

They hadn’t spoken since but when Matteo got out of Jonas’s car, a normality now, he could see the boy looking from the same window. When he walked past him, broom in hand, he gave him a small smile that wasn’t returned. He silently cleaned the practice room David was dancing him, only noticing David’s lingering glance as he left the room. 

David had been dancing around in Matteo’s, usually mundane, mind. He had barely had a conversation with the boy but he craved to know more about the boy, more than he had ever done so before. Matteo doesn’t think he’s ever craved knowledge more than that he could learn about David, and he knew it sounded stupid and naive. He knew he sounded like a cliche, but he was. 

He was a damned cliche. 

Surprisingly, Matteo followed through on his promise to have a party on Saturday night. He didn’t want to, it was one of those days when Matteo wanted to lie in bed forever, but Jonas can come round during the day and persuaded him it would be lowkey. Matteo knew nothing would be lowkey if Hans was around, and he was. Regardless, he gave in and was enveloped in a bear hug from Jonas.

Hans was thrilled to find out there was a party happening, and immediately went to call some of his friends to see if they wanted to come along. Matteo rolled his eyes at the excitement that was being fuelled in the small apartment, but played into it as well. The three went around the apartment and hung fairy lights and dug out some glow in the dark body paint. Matteo didn’t even question where it came from. 

Mia was less thrilled to come home to see party preparations in full swing. It wasn’t that Mia didn’t like parties; she did, she just didn’t like having to clean up afterwards. In attempt to not kill the vibe of the party, Alex offered for her to stay over at his. Fortunately she agreed, and she begged the three of them to not make much mess. The boys nodded along but knew they couldn’t promise anything. 

People started arriving at eight o’clock, whilst the sun was setting over Berlin. A glance at the warm tones illuminating the room reminded Matteo of David. Soon after people started gathering in the living room the drinks started to be poured and the music started vibrating through every body. Matteo knocked back a quick shot to ease the nerves he always got at parties, and started weaving his way through the crowds. 

Whilst he was edging his way to the kitchen, he made eye contact with a girl from across the room. The girl was pretty. He hadn’t seen her around before. She had blonde hair and a pretty smile. He watched as she broke eye contact to look at her friend and giggle. He looked away and carried on the kitchen, feeling slight relief at the emptiness of it. He leaned against the counter and took a sip of his drink, letting the numbing feeling wash over him.

He watched his friends dancing wildly around the place, not at all in time with the music but not caring anyway. He wished he had that much freedom in himself but the moment he was in a large group of people he became all too aware of his every movement. Whilst he stood there, laughing at his friends manic behaviour he felt someone come up behind him.

“Hey, I’m Sara,” The girl said.

Matteo turned around to face her. She had a nice smile, but that was about it. Matteo downed his drink.

“Matteo,” he replied. He leaned on the counter to support himself after he started swaying dangerously close to her. 

“Your party?” She asked, a look on her face that he couldn’t quite make out. He nodded. “It’s good, better than the ones at my school.”

“What school do you go to, I haven’t seen you around?” Matteo questioned, already beginning to slur his words.

“Berlin Arts, but you probably haven’t heard of it,” Sara explained. Matteo eyes widened, too drunk to deal with the situation he was in.

“Oh, I’ve heard of it,” Matteo replied, beginning to laugh for no reason. 

Sara had a confused look on her face. Matteo decided he didn’t like that face. He didn’t know how to get her to stop making that face, so he did the only thing he could think of, he booped her nose.  
Weirdly, she didn’t freak out and instead leaned in closer to him. Matteo wasn’t sure what this meant, all he knew was that her face was inching closer to his until he couldn’t breathe anymore. Her breath was hot against his, and not in a nice way. He felt trapped in her movements and didn’t know what to do when her lips pressed harshly against him. 

He didn’t move a muscle as she moved her hands to his face and tried to deepen the kiss. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he thought it might break his rib cage. It felt wrong. It didn’t threaten him, he didn’t like the feel of her body pressed up against him. 

After what felt like an eternity, he found the energy to push her off of him and moved faster than he ever had out of the kitchen. He went straight to his bedroom and slammed the door shut. He paced around his room, tears pricking his eyes. He nibbled on his fingers as he desperately tried to even out his breathing. He could feel his chest tighten as thoughts ran viciously through his mind. 

He needed to get out. 

The music was too loud. The smells were making him feel sick. The thought of being in that room around all those people, made his hyperventilations worsen. He needed to get out of his room, out of his apartment. 

He gingerly opened his room, looking to make sure no one he knew was around before he made his escape. Once it was clear he grabbed his coat and a beer off the side. He didn’t know why he took the beer but he felt like he would need it. 

Once he’d opened the front door he ran down the steps and into the cold, fresh air. He let it fill his lungs as he tried to even his breathing. Unable to fight the thoughts that were occupying his mind, he started walking. 

He quickly decided that walking whilst drinking wasn’t the best idea but he didn’t stop. He didn’t stop until he reached the park. He started stumbling around until he found a bench to collapse on to, not caring who or what saw him.

When he was sat on the bench he could feel his heartbeat shaking his whole body. He didn’t know how to stop it. He watched as his hands shook in front of him and ached as his chest tightened more than he thought possible in his chest. He didn’t know he was crying until he felt drops on his cheeks that didn’t come from the rain. 

His head hurt more than just from the alcohol. He wanted Jonas. He wanted the comfort of seeing people he knew and trusted. Even Abdi or Carlos would be better than the isolation he was feeling right now. But he couldn’t go back to the party, not where everyone was. He wanted someone to get him out of his head. 

However, the park was empty except for a few nocturnal animals that were wandering around minding their own business. He usually liked a quiet park during the day. It reminded him of when his grandfather would visit and take him to feed the ducks when his parents fighting got too loud. He doesn’t visit anymore. 

His intent stare on his shaking hands and focus on his tightened chest was broken when in front of him was a person, panting after what seemed like a long run. At first he didn’t take notice, but the flickering street lamp lit up the boy’s silhouette. It was David. Out of everyone in the world to see him when he felt like the walls around him but were closing a little too tightly, it had be be David.

Matteo spluttered on the sip of the drink he just took, and David turned to look at him.

“What are you doing here, it’s like one in the morning?” David asked, edging closer to him slowly. 

“I could ask you the same question, ballet boy,” Matteo words were both slurred and shaky, making any chance of David hearing what he said damn near impossible. But he did.

“Have you been crying, you’re shaking?” David asked, almost in front of Matteo now. There was no emotion in his voice but Matteo understood that there was an underlying sense of concern. Matteo could feel his body heat radiating off of him, like the sun on the hottest day of the year.

“Does it look like I was crying?” Matteo replied, the feeling of wanting to sleep forever suddenly hitting him. He sprawled out lazily on the bench and just looked up at David.

“Yeah, it kind of does.” 

Matteo just shrugged in response. The two boys remained in silence for a while. Neither of them were happy in the situation, but they couldn’t bear to let it end either. It did come to an abrupt end though, when Matteo leaned over and vomited all over the pavement. Fortunately missing David.

At first he saw David give him a look, contemplating leaving him; Matteo watching the conflict play out on his face. He heard David sigh and gingerly stepped towards him with a hand held out. Matteo took it gratefully and was easily pulled up.

“Where do you live, you need to go home?” David asked, moving Matteo’s arm over his shoulder and grabbing his waist.

“S’okay, I can direct,” Matteo mumbled, gripping onto David. 

Matteo felt the familiar sick feeling in his stomach that made his whole body internally groan. He hated this part of getting drunk. When it wasn’t fun anymore and all he wanted was a glass of water. He didn’t think David could see the tears that came involuntarily. He didn’t know he’d cried so much lately, so much so that he didn’t even try to hide the tears anymore. He usually would just go sit in his room until he had calmed down. There was no calming down here.

“Are you crying again?” David asked, not evening looking at him but obviously hearing the sniffs come from Matteo. 

“Sorry, it’s stupid I know,” Matteo said, because it was. Obviously it was stupid. What seventeen year old boy cries alone in a park, drunk?

“Yeah it is,” David responded, clearly not interested in what was going on with Matteo. Fair enough. 

They walked in silence the rest of the way. Matteo gently swaying into David occasionally, only for there to be a firmer grip on his side. At any other time, Matteo would be screaming inside. He would feel flustered and self-conscious and maybe slightly cocky. Although, right now, all David was, was a support to drag his tired body home. 

Soon they reached Matteo’s apartment block, and you could hear the party from outside already. He saw David look slightly in disgust as Matteo dragged them closer. Matteo sighed as he could still hear loud music and shouting coming from his apartment. 

He freed himself from David and flopped down onto the steps leading to the front door. “You can leave now, if you want.”

“I can’t leave you out here, why aren’t you going in?” David asked, sitting himself down next to Matteo, leaving a space between them. 

“I hate parties,” Matteo responded, gesturing to the loudness around them.

“But it’s your party?” David inquired, not knowing what Matteo could mean that he hated parties when he was throwing one. Matteo didn’t understand either.

“I never said that,” Matteo remarked, looking at David with a slight smirk on his face.

“Then why would you make me take you to a random party?” 

Matteo didn’t have the energy to respond to David and shrugged instead. David looked at him. He gave a him a look no one had ever given him before. It was the softest look he’d ever seen. It made something inside him slightly crumble, but it made him want to escape more. He wanted his bed more than anything, he wanted to get away from whatever he was feeling.

After another ten minutes of being sat on the steps, Matteo decided that he couldn’t wait any longer. David quickly jumped up and helped Matteo stumble up the stairs. David stared at the door bells, not sure which one was for Matteo’s apartment. Matteo leaned over, pressed one that said ‘Brecht, Winters, Shira, Florenzi’, and made weird noises into the microphone.

He saw David look at him weirdly, before pressing again and just muttering ‘Hi, could you please let Matteo in, thanks.”

The door opened and Matteo led David him, needing assistance so he didn’t fall down the stairs. When they reached the door to Matteo’s apart, he watched David knock on the door then leave Matteo standing there. Matteo turned around and just saw the back of David’s head before the door was opened and he stumbled into Jonas’ arms. 

Jonas started talking to Matteo as he led him to his room but Matteo didn’t catch anything he was saying. He just got into bed and curled into his duvet. Jonas turned the light out and shut the door making sure no one disturbed the sleeping boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I have another chapter ready to go up but basically I have a really busy day today (28/6/19) as I’m going on holiday tomorrow and I’m out all day today and working tonight, so hopefully I can get more done in between going out and work tonight, but if not then there might be a small break  
> sorry guys :) x


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- trigger warning of transphobia and just general horribleness

Matteo avoids thinking about what happened on Saturday night. Just catching his mind drift back to it makes him cringe at the idea. He couldn’t see David again, not after what he had to witness. It embarrassed him no end and he didn’t think he could forget it for a long time. It didn’t help that his friends all questioned the disappearance. Jonas got them off his back, but even he was concerned about Matteo. He kept saying that someone buzzed him in and he wanted to know who, Matteo just said he couldn’t remember.

The morning after had been the worst. There had been too many questions. Of course the boys had seen that Sara girl’s tongue down his throat, which he refused to discuss. He didn’t even know who she was, let alone why she was in his house and making out with him. Jonas had stayed over in his bed and had been there when he needed to throw his guts up at five in the morning. 

Jonas kept pestering him about what happened on Saturday night. It didn’t come from a place of gossip, more so for concern. He knew that Matteo didn’t have any other friends than him, Carlos and Abdi so he wanted to know who helped him. For hours Matteo kept saying he couldn’t remember, but if anyone could tell when Matteo was bullshitting - it was Jonas. Eventually, Matteo told him about David. He said it wasn’t anything other than pitying, Jonas didn’t even know he was gay. 

He had satisfied Jonas but it meant he had to think about why David would spend time helping him. From the only two previous conversations they’d had, David didn’t seem to like Matteo very much or at all. So why help a drunken mess at one in the morning?

Matteo didn’t see David for three days. The boy must have disappeared as he wasn’t in the group dance or in any of the private practice rooms. Part of him was getting worried that something bad had happened to him, another part told him not to care. He did care though, and he didn’t know why. But every now and then he’d poke his head through one of the stupid indoor windows and hope to see David, but he never did. He started doing stupid things, like saying if he sweeped the corridor in under five minutes, David would magically appear. He never did. 

He had never thought about someone so much before. He knew it was stupid and that he was over thinking every second of every conversation they’d had together, but it made him feel warm inside. It was like every thought of David cemented back a brick in Matteo’s crumbling life. The thought of David reassured him, even if he was still an afterthought to David. Maybe he shouldn’t put so much dependence on the boy, the boy he didn’t even know, but there was something about him that made Matteo want to open up. 

He had seen Sara instead. He remembered Sara telling him she went to BAA but he didn’t think much of it at the time. It wasn’t until he was sweeping a staircase and he’d caught Sara’s eye from across the room that he realised what he had actually said. Fortunately she didn’t approach him but she did give him the type of smile that Hanna would give Jonas, when they were actually together. It made him feel small and inferior under her intense gaze. He watched where he went from then on, making sure he doubled check every corner for a glimpse of her or her small friend. 

It wasn’t until Wednesday that he saw David sat in the group practice, watching the dancers intently - his eyes following each hand and leg movement without blinking. Matteo felt an unnecessary sense of relief seeing the boy nodding along to the movement and mimic some of the hands movements from where he sat. Matteo dragged his eyes away and carried on sweeping, silently praying David would move to the small practice room later on. 

He forced himself to forget that David was even in the building by turning up his music and making himself think of something entirely unrelated. However, every thought he had somehow linked back to the one thing he didn’t want to think about. Fortunately, he managed to maintain a strong sense of self control, telling himself that he still had the rest of the school to clean before he could look at David again. Thinking about it, he was being creepy as hell but he just didn’t care enough to not. 

After what felt like the slowest two hours of his life, he was finally on the final floor. By this point he couldn’t wait any longer. He slipped into the practice room where David was in the middle of dancing, the same one as before, and went to grab the bin. As usual the music stopped and David turned to look at him.

“Are you feeling better after Saturday?” David asked. To Matteo, his voice was the most beautiful song he’d ever heard. 

“I’d rather not talk about it,” Matteo muttered, suddenly self conscious. “I wasn’t in the best place at the time.”

“I could tell, but neither was I apparently,” David said, suggesting that he wasn’t all that thrilled about babysitting a drunken boy at two in the morning. 

“Why were you out so late anyway? Are you like a vampire or something?” Matteo asked, it not even occurring to him beforehand why David would be out so late either.

“Yes, I’m a vampire,” David exclaimed, “Well, actually, I just prefer to run at night it’s more peaceful. Except when there’s a drunk idiot on a bench.”

Matteo just laughed at that. It was a small laugh but it made feel blush viciously. He couldn’t tell if David cared or not about what happened on Saturday, or about Matteo in general. They had both fallen silent and David had turned the music back on, getting into what Matteo assumed was a starting position. 

“Is it okay if I watch?” Matteo asked shyly, not sure he wanted an answer. David just nodded in response.

Matteo carefully dropped the bag and leaned against the wall at the back of the small studio. He watched David carefully, his eyes never leaving the boy in front of him. He watched as David twisted and turned and spun and leaped before his eyes. He watched as he pointed his toes and arched his back and raised his arms. Everything about David became art and Matteo wasn’t very poetic. He saw stories being made out of David’s every movement, each spin coming to life. 

There were parts when Matteo knew he should be imagining a partner, but Matteo couldn’t bear the thought of thinking about anything other than David. David was all Matteo ever wanted to think about again, even if it killed him. David was everything.

When the music stopped David collapsed onto the ground and Matteo slow clapped, slowly walking over to him. He sat down in front of David, not caring if it was professional or not. He needed David to see him. 

“That was incredible,” Matteo breathed out, unsure of whether he should break the silence.

“Oh, er, thanks, but it’s still a work in progress,” David stumbled out, sitting up across from Matteo. David stuttering, that wasn’t like him. 

“Well, I don’t know much about ballet, but I do think that is the best ballet I’ve ever seen,” Matteo said, causing slight redness to appear on David’s cheek.

“It would look better in the group,” David said, trying to deflect the praise away from himself.

“Why don’t you dance with the group, if you don’t mind me asking?” Matteo asked, feeling like he was intruding David’s privacy, “I always see you in there, but you aren’t dancing.”

David sighed and looked down embarrassed, not wanting to make eye contact with Matteo. Matteo was about to change the topic when David looked up again. “I’m not strong enough yet. That’s why I run and practice the dance as much as possible, to show Madame Grace that I am capable of the dance.” 

Matteo doesn’t know what David means. David looks like one of the strongest people he knows. He thinks it’s obvious that David could do the dance, he could lead the dance if he wanted to. He decided against questioning though. 

Instead he stood up and took his overalls off, underneath he kept his jeans and t shirt on. David looked up at him with a confused expression, but Matteo just grinned at him.

“Teach me how to do that jump you did, you know the one after the spin,” Matteo said before doing a poor attempt at one. 

“You want me to teach you how to do an assemblé, a move that takes years to perfect?” David asked, tilting his head and raising his eyebrows.

Matteo nodded, completely ignoring what David had said about the difficulty of the move as he was too focused on the David’s perfect French accent. What couldn’t this boy do? David shrugged and slowly jumped, crossing his feet mid air and landing perfectly on the ground. Matteo tried again but moved his legs wrong and ended up stumbling aggressively as he landed. David couldn’t help but laugh as Matteo’s cheeks flushed red. 

“Do you actually want to learn how to do this?” David asked, a serious look on his face. He was contemplating helping Matteo, he could tell from the look in his eyes. 

“Yeah, I mean I’m all about self improvement,” Matteo responded, a small smile on his face. David smiled, then went and stood behind him.

David went to touch Matteo, but stopped just beforehand to make sure Matteo was okay with it. He nodded, then felt David more his arms and legs into where they needed to be. Matteo didn’t know why he wanted to learn how to do the assemblé or whatever it was called, but he could feel David’s breath on his neck and it made his heart rate increase. 

“Right okay, when you jump up you need to cross your legs and land with your feet in this position,” David said before putting his feet into fifth position. 

“Is that even possible, but doesn’t look normal?” Matteo asked, not sure if his feet could bend like that. 

David just rolled his eyes and told him to do it. So Matteo did. He jumped and tried to move his legs, but failed. However, before he could fall down as stumbling disgrace David caught him and put him safely on the ground. Before he could say again, David told him to jump again. And he did. 

They kept this going. Matteo jumping and falling into David’s outstretched arms. To other people it may have looked weird to see a ballet dancer helping a boy in baggy jeans and an ugly sweater, but to Matteo it was the closest he’d got to feeling alive in months. 

Needless to say, Matteo couldn’t dance. David tried, he really did. He made him focus completely on the movements of his body. But the boy just kept getting distracted by anything other than the point of his toes or placement of his arms. Matteo wasn’t art. 

Matteo had assumed that him and David were the only people left in the building, apart from John the caretaker. Normally by the time he left he could only see one light left on, the one where David would dance until - he didn’t know what time. So he was as surprised as David when two figures appeared in the doorway, just as Matteo was coming down from a countless attempt at the, as he now called it, stupid dance move. David didn’t catch Matteo as he was caught off guard. Matteo stumbled and the two figures snickered at them.

“Wow, congratulations David you’ve finally found a dancer who is one; at your level and two; can actually be the male lead,” Matteo heard one of the girls say. It was Sara. 

“Maybe now you’ll actually learn the right dance,” the other girl cut in.

Matteo didn’t know what was happening, but he felt David shove him away from where they had been standing. He turned to David to see a broken look on his face, suddenly not the David he normally saw. 

This David was small. This David had the pain in his eyes of someone who’d seen things worse than comprehension. Matteo didn’t understand what the girls were saying but he could hear their laughter from the other side of the room.

“Oh yeah, Matteo, good kiss on Saturday,” Sara smirked, a devilish grin on her face. The two girls were standing there with their arms crossed. They knew what they were doing. 

David and Matteo, on the other hand, looked like two deer caught in headlights. Matteo didn’t dare turn to look at David, he could already feel the glare burn right through his clothes. 

“Fuck off,” David sneered, trying to turn his hurt into anger. 

The two girls waved and turned around, linking arm in arm. Matteo hated them. He hated how much they upset David. They made him angry and he didn’t seem like an angry person. He turned to look at David who had an emotionless expression on his face. It was an expression his Mum used to display all the time, the expression of numbness. It hurt to see a face like David’s hold the same pain.

“Wha- I, er, are you okay?” Matteo fumbled, not sure how the evening could become so disastrous. 

“Fuck off,” David repeated, the same venom in his voice. 

Matteo didn’t hesitate and grabbed his overalls and bin bag. He moved through the studio quickly, but turned back to see David for one more time before he left. He watched as David wipe a tear that had fallen from his eye, then go back to his dancing.

Maybe he wasn’t the only boy who cried after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys so I have landed in Florida (after a ten hour flight) and went to disneyland today which I freaking loveddddd but I'm trying my best to write stuff here and there but I'm not sure how much I will be able to get done in the next two weeks as I'm heading to nyc next week as well :// 
> 
> any way, I hope you enjoyed :)))
> 
> \- also, the character of Sara is just because I hated her in the show and I don't want her to be nice because she doesn't deserve people like David and Matteo, in my humble op


	6. Chapter Six

Matteo didn’t see David again after the events of that Wednesday night. He checked the next two days to see if David was in the group practice or in the small studio, but the boy was nowhere to be seen. Even in the corridors, there was no glimpse of David. It seemed, to Matteo, that the school had been stripped of any light. Every corner was gloomier than the first.

It hurt to know that David had run. He knew that the boy was opening up, ever so slightly. Maybe Matteo went too far, wanted to know too much or got too close. Or maybe it was Sara and her friend, whatever they meant by their comment cutting deeper than Matteo thought it would. Whatever it was, it was eating Matteo up inside. He didn’t even dare look at either Sara of Leonie again. Afraid that if they made eye contact, Matteo wouldn’t be able to stop himself from going over and getting angry at them. 

He wasn’t even normally an angry person, but they had clearly hurt David. Or he had.

The Thursday and Friday had sucked. He had no motivation to do what he had to do. The broom felt like it was one hundred tonnes of bricks being pushed around, and the bins seemed like an impossible task, especially knowing that David wasn’t hiding behind any of the doors. John was getting irritated with him, knowing that Matteo wasn’t usually afraid of hard work. It didn’t question it though, Matteo could just tell from the look of his face. 

He wasn’t sure why not seeing David affected him so much. He knew it was completely disproportionate to what was actually happening between the two boys, which was nothing. But there was a part of Matteo that couldn’t seem to let the thought of David go, even if David seemed to have removed any trace of Matteo from his mind. If he was even thinking about Matteo at all. Matteo knew he was being overdramatic, but he had decided that being over dramatic was better than feeling nothing constantly.

By Sunday he had hit a low point. He knew what was happening, but it didn’t give him the motivation to do anything about it. He had felt the walls closing in days before, but it was on Sunday that they became a cage and locked all of the good thoughts and feelings in a place far away from Matteo’s reach. He knew where the cage was, but he had no motivation to even attempt to bring himself back to happiness. His bedroom became his sanctuary and he didn’t plan on leaving it, even if the world started ending. 

For days no one said anything. No one even peeped their head around the door. He knew it was better that way, not having someone constantly check on him and babying him, but it also made him feel like no one cared enough, he was just an afterthought. He hadn’t eaten everything, and he knew he should but he couldn’t bring himself to move into the kitchen. It was the same with showering. 

A visitor came round on the following Wednesday. He heard the door buzz and Hans’ cheery voice let the person in. Matteo assumed that the person was one of Hans’ friends from Grindor and didn’t even attempt to think about it anymore. So he was surprised when he heard a gentle knock on his door. 

“Yo, Luigi can I come in?” Matteo heard the familiar voice say. There was a certain comfort that came with Jonas’ that Matteo didn’t think anyone could replicate. Matteo didn’t say anything but the door opened anyway.

“How are you feeling?” Jonas said, sitting down on Matteo’s bed and looking at him. 

All Matteo could do is shrug in response. Jonas had seen Matteo like this. When there was no light behind his eyes and he could barely even hold a conversation. It was something that had once scared Jonas, the boy almost shouting at Matteo to say anything or do anything. But he couldn’t. However, being Jonas, the boy researched and came back to Matteo saying that he thought he should see a therapist. Matteo didn’t talk to him for a week. 

The thing is, Matteo knew Jonas was right. He knew he had got whatever his Mum had got and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t want to talk to a therapist about what he was feeling, usually, it was numbness anyway. So he didn’t and instead he suffered in silence and let whatever was eating him up instead just consume him. 

“Bro, we’re worried about you. I know you dude and you’re not okay right now,” Jonas said. There was a look of such compassion in his eyes that Matteo couldn’t help but crumble a little bit. 

“David,” Matteo responded Jonas, looking at him weirdly.

“The boy who helped you when you were drunk?” Jonas asked. All Matteo did was nod. 

“He goes to the stupid ballet school and he’s rude and arrogant but he has given me more time of day than anyone there. He actually cares, or he did. I don’t know what happened, but now he’s gone,” Matteo breathed out, looking up at Jonas vulnerably. 

“What do you mean he’s gone?” Jonas asked, apparently deciding to focus on Matteo’s short term unhappiness, rather than try and talk to Matteo about everything immediately even though he knew he had questions.

“I just don’t know. He was teaching me how to do a dumb dance move when these girls appeared, one of the girls had kissed me on Saturday and then he changed. He told me to fuck off and I haven’t seen him since,” Matteo sighed, fiddling with his fingers.

“And you have no way of contacting him to see if he’s alright?” Jonas asked. 

“No, I don’t even know his last name,” Matteo replied, a sad look on his face. “And I know it’s stupid because I barely know him, but I’m just worried you know, I just wanna know he’s okay.”

Matteo watched as Jonas tried to take in what Jonas was telling him. He wasn’t on counting on Jonas knowing what to say, but Jonas always seemed to have some kind of advice to give him. He always had. 

“Don’t beat yourself up over it. He knows where you are, and if he wants to talk then he will find you. He might just need time to sort through his things,” Jonas said, giving Matteo the look that Matteo knew all too well.

The two boys ended up talking for hours and Matteo started to open up to Jonas about everything that was going on. He didn’t want to burden Jonas so kept his answers brief but Jonas wanted to know that Matteo was okay, or equally that he wasn’t okay. Jonas knew that Matteo wasn’t good at talking so was patient as Matteo fumbled through his emotions, trying to find the right words to use to describe his numbness. 

Matteo talked about his loneliness and his fear of losing all of his friends like he did his family. He talked about his numbness and how nothing really affected him until every thought built up and exploded into despair. He talked about how overwhelming everything could be, and how on Saturday he needed to escape from the party. He talked and talked, trying to rid himself of everything he’d hidden for so long.

Jonas knew exactly what to say. He always did. He could tell that there was something wrong with Matteo and he was glad that Matteo was finally opening up to him, not caring that it had taken so long. He listened to every word that Matteo had to say and helped him along when he couldn’t find the right words. 

“Bro, have you ever thought about therapy?” Jonas asked, receiving a hurt look from Matteo.

“Are you saying there’s something wrong with me?” Matteo questioned, a million thoughts suddenly running through his head.

If Jonas left him then everyone would. Jonas wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who couldn’t even handle their own thoughts. If Jonas couldn’t then done of them would and he’d be left by himself. Was he turning into his Mum? Is this karma for not helping her as much has be could’ve done?

“Therapy doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you, therapy is just something to help rationalise your thoughts,” Jonas explained, “Mia and Kiki will be better at explaining it than I am.”

Matteo nodded. Therapy. He wasn’t blind to the fact that his mind didn’t work like other peoples so maybe having someone who could tell him how his thoughts were normal could help him. He made a mental note to talk to Mia about how she felt about therapy before he made any decisions. 

The two boys decided to head into the living room to lay Mario Kart. Matteo hadn’t left his room for days and felt too exposed as the sun shone harshly into the room. They settled onto the sofa and grabbed the controllers. They laughed and shouted at each other as they battled on different race courses. They play fought when they were neck and neck and hugged the other when they lost. 

They ordered pizza and Matteo ate most of it, Jonas didn’t care as he was just glad that his friend was eating. They didn’t about Matteo anymore but instead joked about the other boys and other things that were happening with their friends. Mostly Abdi and Sam though.  
It was around six in the evening when Matteo received a call from an unknown number. He was hesitant to answer it as he didn’t even usually answer the phone to people he knew, but Jonas just told him to anyway.

“Hello, is this Matteo Florenzi? It’s Madame Waldoff from the Berlin Arts Academy,” the voice said through the phone. 

Matteo swallowed hard. He knew he had been missing his community service, but he couldn’t even make it into the kitchen, let alone clean a school for four hours. 

“Uh, yeah it is,” Matteo mumbled, not wanting to know why she called, or what she was going to say to him. 

“Well, Mr Florenzi, I think we need to have a meeting tomorrow about your continuous absences,” Madame Waldoff explained, her tone harsh and to the point. 

“Yeah, okay,” Matteo sighed, knowing he was going to be told off.

“Good, I’ll see you in my office at four o’clock on the dot,” Madame Waldoff said before hanging up. 

Matteo fell back onto the sofa groaning. Jonas looked him confused so Matteo had to explain what happened. What does he say to a woman like that? He can’t say that he couldn’t get out of bed for four days in a row, she wouldn’t understand that. He contemplated lying to her, but he knew that she wouldn’t buy it. Jonas told him to tell the truth. If she got angry at him then she was the bad person, not him. Matteo sighed and agreed. 

☆

Matteo sunk into the office chair in Madame Waldoff’s room. He hadn’t noticed how dark it was in there since the last time he was sat in that chair. The portraits on the walls seemed to glare at him and the air was thick. Madame Waldoff had a look on her face that unlike others he’d seen before. It looked as though she was expecting to be disappointed by whatever Matteo had to say. 

“So, Mr Florenzi, do you care to enlighten me as to why you have failed to turn up to work for the past three days?” Madame Waldoff asked, her chin resting on her hands. Matteo sighed, he knew he had to tell Madame Waldoff the truth.

He explained how he sometimes lost all motivation to do anything, usually triggered by something, and that meant he couldn’t do anything. He tried to explain it in a way that didn’t make it out to be lazy, which many people thought he was, but apparently, that was quite a difficult task. Madame Waldoff nodded along but he wasn’t sure if she actually believed what he was saying. He made the decision before he went in that he wasn’t going to mention David as he didn’t want to get the boy into trouble - just by association. 

It was a difficult conversation, just because he’d just learnt how to have these conversations, the first being only yesterday. It was hard to find the right words and then make them fit into a sentence that made sense, but he hoped that Madame Waldoff got the idea of what he was saying. 

“Right Matteo, I like you. When you first walked into my office you weren’t what I was expecting to see. The reason I suggested community service is because you’re seventeen and no seventeen year old should have all their future opportunities taken away by a stupid mistake. But also because you aren’t too dissimilar to someone I know,” Madame Waldoff said. “My son, who is now a few years older than you, struggled a lot with himself and thus turned to crime. I saw part of him in you when you sat down, but my son was put in prison for six months. Those six months ruined his chances for the future and I didn’t want to do that to you. I understand that you have a lot going on right now, so this time I will let it slide. However, if you have the need to take time off, just let me know next time.” 

Matteo sighed a breath of relief so heavy he could feel his body deflate. He could embrace Madame Waldoff he was so relieved by what she said. He didn’t think she’d actually understand what was going on with Matteo, but she did and that made everything a little easier. People understand what he’s going through, he just needs to talk to people. 

“Thank you, and yeah I will do if I need to,” Matteo said standing up, “Thank you so much.”

“That’s quite alright, now you might as well put your overalls on while you’re here,” Madame Waldoff said, gesturing him out the door. 

He smiled at her and walked off down the corridor. He soon found the familiar store cupboard and opened it carefully. Hanging inside were the overalls he normally wore and a broom waiting for him. He slipped the overalls on over his clothes and took the broom out. 

As he was sweeping the first corridor, he felt something from the overalls dig into his side. He didn’t know what it was as he’d never felt it from the overalls before. Then slipped his hand into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that had been folded. He opened the paper to see very little written inside. All it said was: 

Friday. 11:00. Here.  
52.52406, 13.32604 

David.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wednesdays are for the bros. 
> 
> Ahh, I'm sorry that I can update this as fast as I want to but I'm trying my best.  
> It's so hot in Florida, my little British body is melting lol
> 
> I hope you enjoyed Matteo moping, because I really didn't :(


	7. Chapter Seven

It was Friday morning and Matteo didn’t think he’d ever been so nervous. His mind was going through a feature-length film of every single scenario of how today could play out - there was not a single good outcome. He had spent all last night panicking about what could happen. Every new ‘if’ being worse than the one before. What if David was mocking him? What if David had arranged it so he could shout at Matteo?

Every thought swam around in his head and he didn’t know how to control what he was thinking. He hadn’t told anyone he was meeting David today, no one knew who he was and probably wouldn’t believe he had a friend anyway. If he could even call him a friend. Maybe it was because he was so used to being let down in the past that the thought of someone new, maybe coming into his life made him think there was one more person to lose. 

It didn’t help that the note reminded him of his father’s half-assed texts that he got once or twice a year for three years, asking if he wanted to meet him somewhere, then never actually turning up. It made him think of the time he was sat in a cafe for three hours, debating whether or not to go home or stay just in case he had got caught up in traffic. He never replied to his text after that. 

Matteo spent longer trying to decide what to wear for this meet up than he had ever done in his whole life. Everything he put on looked messy and if he didn’t care, he did care. He eventually settled on a basic grey jumper and baggy jeans, hating how tight and constricted skinny jeans made his legs feel. He even managed to comb his hair, before realising he didn’t want to look like he had tried too hard. He was psychoanalysing everything. He knew he was but that thought just stressed him out further.

Another issue had been figuring out where David actually wanted them to meet. All Matteo had been given were coordinates and he wasn’t very good at geography. At first, he tried just simply putting them into Google, but that seemed to just make Google as confused as he was. Eventually, he found a way of putting the digits into an online map and wrote down the name of the park that David wanted them to meet at. It was the park where he had found Matteo drunk out of his mind. 

Before Matteo left the apartment, he had been greeted by all three of his roommates in the kitchen. He gave them an awkward smile as he grabbed his jacket off the kitchen counter and took an apple out of the fruit bowl. None of them said anything, but he could feel them looking at each other, not sure how to react to Matteo voluntarily leaving the house for something other than school.

The walk to the park was completely different from what it had been when he was drunk. He was actually taking in the views, which happened to be quite nice at ten fifty-six in the morning. The ducks were gathering in the river and on all of the sidewalks. He didn’t mind, seeing as they didn’t want to attack him, just walk alongside him.

His nerves rose as he walked into the park. He looked around and saw a familiar outline sat on the bench he was sat on when he was drunk. He slowly walked over to David, taking all of him in from afar so that David wouldn’t notice. He was wearing a black beanie on his head, a long black jumper and black jeans. He didn’t look how Matteo had imagined, but he was used to seeing him in tights, so he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. 

He sat down next to David and smiled as the boy turned to look at him. 

“Hey,” David said quietly, not having the same glint in his eyes.

“Hey,” Matteo responded. 

“I didn’t think you’d turn up,” David admitted, looking Matteo straight into his eyes. If Matteo could have one thing saved in his memory forever, it would be David’s warm honey eyes.

“I didn’t think you’d want me to,” Matteo smirked. David looked away smiling and shaking his head. 

Matteo smiled too. The two boys looking at each other with cheesy grins on their faces. Neither of them spoke for a while, they just looked at the nature surrounding them. Matteo liked the feeling. He liked knowing that he wasn’t the only person around, but at the same time, he was able to think and feel the silence as if he was alone. David brought him a kind of comfort that he hadn’t felt before. 

David didn’t know what he was really like, the only Matteo he’d seen was him working or drunk out of his mind. David hadn’t seen Matteo when he couldn’t get out of bed. He hadn’t seen him when he was so low and lost in life that he was constantly rude and grumpy. And Matteo liked that. This was a new person who he could try and be a new self around. A self that was happier.

The two began talking. At first, they were unsure, but after a few awkward glances they hit it off. They were laughing and joking with each other, David teasing Matteo mercilessly. All Matteo could hear was David’s voice. All he could see was David’s sweet smile and rosy cheeks. All he ever wanted to be around was David, he could live in David’s light forever. 

After being sat on the bench for half an hour, Matteo watched as David looked at him then got up and started running. At first, Matteo was confused and thought he’d done something wrong. But then David turned around with a huge smile on his face and shouted at Matteo.

“Come on, what are you waiting for?” 

Then Matteo was up and running too. He could hear David’s laughter as they raced around the park, not caring how many funny looks they got. They jumped over greenery and swung round trees. Matteo could barely catch his breath, but he couldn’t let David get away. 

The air was cold enough for Matteo could be able to feel it brushing against his skin, but it wasn’t cold enough to want to go inside. He could practically feel the heat radiating off of David, who seemed to just be a sunbeam. Matteo felt like he could run after David forever, never quite catching up with him but loving the thrill of it anyway. It seemed that David was always just slightly out of reach. 

Something in Matteo was beginning to change. He could feel himself wanting to reach out to David, both physically and psychologically. He wanted to talk to David about himself, about everything. But he wanted David to do the same. He liked David. David was warm. David was rude and said it as it was. But the smile he gave Matteo made every word that might have hurt him turn into honey on his lips. Matteo was in deep and he wasn’t sure if he was a strong enough swimmer to get himself out.

Eventually, David slowed down and leaned himself up against a slanted wall. Matteo stopped too and walked over to him, his face flushed red and breathing heavily. He looked at David who hadn’t even seemed to have broken a sweat, still as cool and composed as he always was. Matteo shook his head as David laughed at his unfitness. David gently shoved Matteo, the feeling of his hand brush against his as he retaliated burned unexpectedly. 

“How are you not out of breath?” Matteo panted heavily, “I haven’t run properly since I was ten probably.”

“I’ve been in ballet training for twelve years, exercise is all I know,” David explained in between laughter. “I would be concerned if I was out of breath after running for about fifteen minutes, max.”

“Hey, some of us value other things - like video games,” Matteo said defensively but smiling anyway, “why do you even like ballet that much? It seems like a lot of work.”

“I guess with dancing I know I am in control of my body, I learn the moves I want to learn and I know how to perform them,” David said, clearly thinking about his answer. “Yes there’s discipline and it’s harsh, but there’s also a lot of freedom.”

Matteo nodded along, but he was more focused on the spark that David had in his eyes, rather than the actual answer. Just the tone of David’s voice was enough to know how much he loved dancing, and the light in his eyes only proved it further.

Matteo wanted to love something as much as David loved dancing. He wanted someone to see the passion in his eyes as he spoke about something he loved. He wanted people to be jealous that he had found his thing, the thing that made him him. Instead, he was jealous of David, he was jealous that David was sure of himself and knew himself and wasn’t afraid to show it. 

After another moment of silence, David looked at Matteo with a face that Matteo could only describe as vulnerability. “So, how long have you been friends with Sara and Leonie?”

Matteo looked at David with a confused face. 

“Who?” Matteo asked dumbly.

“You know, the girls in my dance class who paid us a visit last Wednesday,” David muttered. It was clearly something that he didn’t want to talk about, but he also was desperate for an answer. 

“Oh, I’m not friends with them,” Matteo answered, matter of factly. He didn’t know why David would even care that he friends with them.

“But you kissed Sara?” David asked, still with a sad tone of voice. A tone of voice that didn’t belong to that of David’s. 

“Yeah, on Saturday at my party. Then you found me half an hour later, so you guess how that turned out,” Matteo shrugged. He didn’t know if it was too forward to say that he was gay, just so his reason didn’t sound fake. 

“That makes sense,” David replied, a visible wave of relief washing across his face. He smiled at Matteo again. 

“Why? Were you jealous Mr… David,” Matteo joked, then realising he didn’t know David’s last name.

“Uh, yeah, I’ve always wanted to kiss Sara, her politeness has always been a huge turn on for me,” David said, rolling his eyes with a smirk on his face. “And it’s Schreibner.”

They began chatting about dumb things again. Matteo told David things that he didn’t think anyone would actually find funny, let alone understand. But David would wholeheartedly heart at everything that came out of Matteo’s mouth and vice versa. They only had to look at each other before they burst out laughing at stupid things. Matteo really wanted to stay in this moment forever.

He could feel his phone buzzing through his jeans and gave an awkward smile, before grabbing it out of his pocket. He saw multiple messages ping up from the group chat he had with his friends. They were arguing about something annoying, so he put his phone on silent and shoved it back into his pocket. 

“Sorry, my friends are annoying,” Matteo muttered, cursing them for ruining whatever was happening. 

“Hm, you having friends, that sounds fake,” David joked, a laugh quickly following his statement. Matteo shoved his middle finger into David’s face, only for David to lick it in retaliation. 

“Screw you, I have friends,” Matteo said, sounding offended at the joke. 

“Hmm, yeah, sure you do,” David continued, more laughter escaping his lips. 

Matteo tried to look angry and offended by what David was saying, but he too was laughing. He didn’t know what was funny but David’s laughter was contagious and he couldn’t help but follow whatever David did. He tried to shove him, and once again their hands ever so slightly brushed but it felt like a bolt of electricity rushing through Matteo’s body.

“Well, I don’t hear any messages from your phone, maybe you’re just jealous that I have friends,” Matteo mocked, pointing to the phone that was poking out of David’s pocket.

“I don’t have time for friends, dance is more important,” David shrugged, clearly not caring that he was by himself. Matteo wished he felt comfortable by himself.

Matteo didn’t know how to reply to that so instead changed the conversation. Things like that were easy with David. He didn’t feel any awkward silences but instead natural progressions of different conversations. Things felt safe around David.

The two boys managed to waste the afternoon away. Although, Matteo would argue that it was one of the best days he’d had in a long time. Everything felt so and meaningful when he was with David, like everything that was said would have a purpose at some later point in his life. He wanted David to be with him but he realised what they meant. Neither of the boys wanted the day to end so put off saying anything even remotely close to goodbye. However, like all good things, it had it had to come to an end. 

David received a call which he, before answering, looked at Matteo with a smirk on his face. “I guess I do have friends.”

He then answered the phone and started nodding along to whatever the person was saying, a concerned look on his face. He then hung up and looked at Matteo with a sad expression. 

“Hey, look I have to go but I had a really good time today, we should hang out again sometime. You can show me how good you are at Mario,” David said, adding a mocking tone to his comment about Mario. 

“Yeah, that’d be cool,” Matteo replied, shyer than he had been all day. He didn’t want the day to end. David smiled and walked off. Matteo didn’t move for a while but instead just watched as David’s figure got further and further away until it merged with other peoples.

Matteo wasn’t sure who’d be home. This morning, everyone was, but he knew that Hans was always out and about and equally that Linn didn’t leave often. He played the day he had with David through his mind over and over, trying to pick his favourite part but never managing too. He knew he felt like a fifteen-year-old girl gushing over a stupid crush, but he was. To him, David hung the moon and the stars. 

He decided to take the long way home, not ready to face anyone but himself at the moment. He, for once, felt at peace with his surroundings and walked casually through the back roads to the apartment. He wasn’t sure if it was just David rubbing off of him, the boy is the kind that could fit in anywhere. Or if he was just finding inner peace. 

When he got home he opened the door to Mia gently singing in the kitchen. He walked over to her and could smell the homely scent of vanilla cupcakes. She smiled at him and grabbed his hands to dance with him. Usually, he’d release himself go to his room, but after his day with David, he was feeling good about himself. He let Mia move his arms in time to whatever she was singing, and began twirling her around too.

“Look what I can do,” Matteo said before attempting the assemblé that David taught him. He failed it terribly but proudly bowed at the end. 

“Wow, Matteo, where did you learn that?” Mia asked through laughs. 

“I guess cleaning a ballet school isn’t too bad,” Matteo shrugged, but he was laughing too. 

“Hmm, especially with all the pretty girls you see,” Mia said, in a sisterly taunting way. It had always been like that between Mia and Matteo. Mia was like his older sister who loved him endlessly but also teased him mercilessly. 

“I’m gay,” Matteo replied, without even realising it slipt out before he could change his mind. 

“Oh okay, all the hot guys then,” Mia said, a smile still on her lips. 

Matteo suddenly felt very exposed so excused himself to go to his room. He didn’t know why he felt like this. It should’ve been what he wanted. Mia just accepted it and moved on, so why couldn’t he? He could fill a fit pit in his stomach ache and crawl under his duvet as a way of trying to escape from it, but it was still there. 

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed under the safety of his duvet but he could hear Hans get home and he and Mia talk for a while. He also heard Hanna come and go, with the two girls laughing in the kitchen for what felt like hours. Time seemed to stop as he breathed heavily under his comforter, but at the same time, a lifetime seemed to go by. He wasn’t sure how long he was going to stay under his protection but he didn’t plan on moving. 

After what must have been a couple of hours, there was a gentle knock on his door. He didn’t say anything but the door opened anyway. He watched as Mia placed a cupcake on his bedside table and climb onto the bed next to him. She didn’t say anything but started drawing lines on his arms, like he’d do to her when they watched movies. 

“Wanna talk?” She asked softly. He turned to her and sat up slowly, resting himself against his wall like she was. 

“I’m gay, or like I think I am,” Matteo said, rambling a bit. “But like, I don’t really know.”

“Matteo, it doesn’t matter,” Mia said, pulling him closer. “No one will mind whether you like boys or girls or both. We all love you and who you love isn’t going to change that, trust me.”

“But like, how do I tell everyone?” Matteo asked, feeling completely out of his depth in this conversation. “The boys are so persistent in setting me up with a girl when there’s someone else.”

“You didn’t seem to struggle telling me,” Mia suggested. 

“That was an accident,” Matteo groaned, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“Trust me, Matteo, no one is going to mind. Yes, Carlos and Abdi might be confused at first, but Jonas will have your back one hundred per cent. You worry too much,” Mia said gently, rustling his hair, “anyway, who’s this person.”

“Well there’s this boy, it’s nothing right now, but he is like the sun and I can’t help but melt in his light you know…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Basically this is me just wanting Matteo and Mia to be closer than they are in the series lol, they are my favourite characters but yeah
> 
> I hope this isn't going too slowly, but things pick up next chapter :)))


	8. Chapter Eight

Matteo was wishing away the weekend more than he ever had done before. Every hour felt like four and nothing he could do nothing to pass the time. Every thought he had led back to David and he could do nothing to rid himself of the thoughts. He’d never been so excited to go to the Ballet School, to be able to talk to David again. The day had been going round and round his head and he couldn’t help but overthink every look and every touch.

His friends probably wish he’d go back to the ballet school too. He hadn’t said why he was excited to go back, only Mia knew that. But he was being completely insufferable and everyone knew it. All weekend he was asking the boys to meet up or annoying his roommates or driving himself crazy. He was desperate for David in a way he had never felt before. None of his friends wanted to say anything to him, them all treading a little too lightly in his presence. They all knew it had been a little too long since Matteo had actually had this much energy so no one had the heart to tell him they were sick about hearing how he was so excited he was to go to work on Monday. 

It was the Saturday night when his friends came round. It was a spontaneous decision, with only the company of a few beers. The four of them had spent the night sprawled across the sofas in their living room playing video games and eating pizza. It had been a peaceful evening, one where he just felt content being with his best friends. After getting bored of whatever game they were playing on Matteo’s old Wii, their conversations shifted into last week’s party. 

Carlos and Abdi were complaining that they didn’t even get to see Matteo all night, but Jonas was able to get them off his back at the mention of Sara. This intrigued both of the two boys, who deemed it impossible for any of them (except Jonas) to actually hit it off with a girl. Matteo kept saying it was nothing and that he wasn’t interested in her, but the boys refused to take no for an answer. They wanted to know exactly what happened, which Matteo begrudgingly agreed to (leaving out how he pushed her off and hid in his room).

“Who even is she?” Carlos had asked, clearly not of recognising the name for anywhere.

“She and her friend Leonie used to be friends with Hanna but then they moved to a Ballet school,” Jonas had replied, the two boys thankfully not piecing together what Jonas had said. “Her name is Sara Adamcyzk I think.”

That night Matteo stalked her Instagram. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting to find but there was a lot of dance videos and selfies of her and her friend Leonie. Surprisingly they didn’t have any mutual followers so he was confused as to how she found out about his party. He decided it didn’t matter because she wouldn’t be allowed into the next one. 

He didn’t know how it happened, but he was suddenly scrolling through her followers to see if there was an account that might be David’s. It didn’t take long to see a little profile picture of the boy next to the account name @da_vid.gif. He didn’t hesitate to click on the profile, only to find that it was private. He questioned whether he should request, but he did anyway. 

As soon as he’d requested to follow him, he turned his phone off and shoved it in his pocket. Every five minutes or so he’d check to see if he had had any notifications, but every time he was just met with the picture of him and Jonas playing Mario Kart. He tried not to let it worry him, but he wondered if David even knew it was him, or if he was secretive about his account - not having that many followers in the first place. After a while, he gave up and told himself not to look at his phone again until his friends left.

A couple of hours later the three boys finally decided it was time to head home, far too many hours after Matteo would’ve liked. He willed himself to not look at his phone until he was in his bed. As soon as he flopped himself on his bed and crawled under the covers he checked his phone to see if he had any notifications. 

@Da_vid.gif has accepted your follow request

@Da_vid.gif has requested to follow you

Matteo smiled stupidly to himself as he pressed the notifications. He started scrolling through David’s Instagram and it looked like him, just through the small squares. He got lost in the dance videos David had put up and followed the lines of the drawings he’d also posted. Everything screamed David. There were also some darker posts, black figures and broken dance moves. 

Everything post on David’s Instagram had a purpose, each video and drawing meant something to him. Self-conscious, he looked through his own feed to see all of the stupid memes he posted on #Matteomondays and the silly pictures of his friends drinking on #Florenzifridays. His account looked haphazard and ugly, especially compared to the artwork that could be described to be David’s. He overthought every picture of himself, worrying that David would see the cigarettes and joints in the pictures and not want to associate himself with Matteo. 

Matteo didn’t know what supernatural being possessed his mind, but he felt the sudden urge to message David. He wanted David to know that he was there, that he existed - despite only seeing him yesterday. At 11:42 pm he pulled up David’s direct messages and typed out a few lame messages before landing on the simplest one he knew.

Matteo: hey

David: It’s late, why are you up?

Matteo: y are u up?

David: You woke me up

Matteo: sorry my bad

David: Goodnight Matteo

Matteo: night

Matteo didn’t know what he was expecting, but David could be as cold through a screen as he could in real life. There was something about the messages that still made him smile, regardless of the seeming short messages, there was still relief calming Matteo. 

☆

After what felt like an eternity, Monday rolled around. For as long as Matteo knew, Mondays sucked. To Matteo, Mondays were the worst day of the week and he would normally do everything in his power to sleep them away. It was the longest day of the week and he loathed them for existing. He’d never been so excited for a Monday, more so than any birthdays that have landed on a Monday. He just had a good feeling. 

Jonas dropped him off outside the Academy like he always did, and Matteo spotted David’s figure from the window where he always waited. Matteo kept his head down as he walked to the store cupboard to grab what he needed. He put his overalls on, grimacing at the smell that only got worse every time he wore it. 

He did his daily routine of cleaning every room and corridor and staircase in the school before seeing David. He knew if he did it any other way he wouldn’t get the rest of the work done. There was also a sense of reward, being able to see David for those couple of minutes at the end of having to work so hard for two hours. Just seeing David was enough.

Normally he didn’t even bother looking in the group practice rooms as he knew he’d see David dancing by himself in the private room. However, he could hear a lot of shouting coming from the room that was usually in use, so decided to see who was getting told off - secretly hoping it was Sara or Leonie. 

He was shocked to see an irate teacher shouting aggressively at David. He had to stop himself from going into the room, struggling to watch David sink further and further into himself. The shouting didn’t subdue even when David started to back down, it only seemed to make her angrier. What could she be shouting at David for? To Matteo, he seemed like the perfect student, but maybe he was biased.

Knowing there was nothing he could do, he had to drag himself away from the window. All he could think about was the sad look on David’s face, and how punchable the teachers' was. He never wanted to see David that hurt again, it was wrong. David is happiness, not sadness. Why would you even shout at David, he isn’t the type of person who deserves to be shouted at, regardless of what he’s done. 

Matteo angrily swept the rest of the floors, pretending that every wall he hit was that teacher’s face. He didn’t care whether he got all the dirt or if everything had been put back in its place, he hoped the teacher tripped on it. 

Eventually, he got to the top floor. He heard music coming from the practice room David was always in, and gently pushed the door open. He left the broom outside and walked into the room slowly. He watched as David turn around, a hesitant smile on his face. Matteo tried not to melt at the sight of it. 

“Hey,” Matteo breathed quietly, not breaking eye contact. 

“Hey,” David replied, in the same quiet voice and intense look. 

Matteo watched as David walked over to the door and locked it. He didn’t know why he did that, but David’s face said that it was something that he had to do. 

“Is everything alright?” Matteo asked in a concerned voice as his eyes followed David around the room. 

“Sara and Leonie told Madame Grace that we were fraternising,” David said, mimicking air quotations as he said fraternising. “She told me that I’m not allowed to talk to you, hence why I locked the door.”

Matteo’s heart involuntarily fluttered. He was willing to risk whatever the punishment to talk to Matteo. He had never had someone who actually was willing to do something like that for him. Obviously, the boys had each others’ backs, but this was different.

“I can leave you if you want?” Matteo suggested, rubbing his arm. He didn’t want to seem too desperate talking to David.

“I want to see you, Matteo, I like being with you,” David admitted, redness appearing on his soft cheeks.

“I like being with you too,” Matteo replied, just staring at David by this point.

Then the music started playing and both David and Matteo got lost in their own worlds. David’s being dance, Matteo’s being watching David dance. There was something so calming just watching as David moved through the room, seeing every bone in his body ignite. 

Matteo jokingly started dancing too, not in time to the music at all. David couldn’t help but laugh as Matteo fumbled about on the floor, not even attempting to dance properly. Matteo was laughing too as David tried to move him into actual dance moves. Neither of them was helping each other and ended up in the giggling mess. Matteo tripped over David’s foot and hung onto the boy as he fell onto the floor, bringing David with him. Neither of them let go as they laid on the floor laughing, Matteo’s hand awkwardly jammed into David’s. Suddenly David jumped up, pulling Matteo up to. They didn’t let go of each other as Matteo was dragged to a cupboard in the corner of the room.

“We need props,” David declared as he opened the door wide. Matteo followed him into the small space and felt a hat be dramatically placed onto his head. 

The room was small and dark, with not much space to move around. Matteo was aware they were still holding hands but didn’t want to say anything as David used his free hand to find whatever he was looking for. Matteo could hear their breaths and feel their heartbeats. He could feel his rise as David hung on tighter to Matteo’s hand. 

There were so many things he wanted to do.

He couldn’t help it. He pressed David up against the back wall and looked into his eyes, trying to find the secret door into David’s heart. He heard David’s breath hitch as he looked back at Matteo. 

“Hey,” Matteo whispered, moving his hand to gently stroke David’s cheeks.

David smiled back at him so sweetly Matteo thought he might melt on the spot. He could feel David’s breath mix with his as they both leaned forward. He couldn’t tell who kissed who first, but their lips were on each other’s and Matteo drowned in David’s arms.

He felt David’s hands run through his hair and cup his cheeks. All he could feel was David and he didn’t want to be this close to anyone else. He lost his hands running through David’s soft hair. They broke apart to catch their breath but kept their foreheads touching and hands around each others’ faces. 

The look David gave Matteo caused the boy to lean in again and kiss the boy with everything he had. He wanted to give David everything he had, the boy deserved the world. The kiss was slow and meaningful like this was written in the stars before they were even thought of. It was a kiss that would make angels cry. 

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” David said, contrasting the massive smile on his face. Matteo couldn’t help but kiss his dimples before giving him an equally elated smile.

“Shhh, don’t kill the moment,” Matteo whispered, moving a piece of hair from David’s face. “I like being a secret anyway.”

Matteo watched as David laughed at that and shook his head. He leaned in to kiss the boy again, wanting to make the most of the time they had at this moment before they had to go back to their lives outside the prop cupboard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm gonna have to take like a couple of days off as I'm flying to New York tomorrow and I'm having a really busy couple of days, so I know I won't be able to write anything. I'll try my best I think it'll be best to wait till I get home :)) sorry x


	9. Chapter Nine

It felt like Matteo had a constant glow after his first kiss with David, and the second and the one after that. All Matteo wanted to do was run his hands through David’s hair and keep his lips pressed to his. He was living in a David bubble and didn’t ever want it to pop. His morning were consumed by text messages that lasted well into the night. They talked about everything and nothing, every thought and opinion was shared and they let the knowledge of each other take priority over everything else. Matteo had learnt more about David in the past couple of days, than he had ever put his mind to at school. 

Matteo learnt about how much David loves his parents, how through everything they have been there to support him. He told David about the lack of parental guidance he’d had in his life. David spoke a lot about dancing, Matteo taking in every stupid French word and trying to have conversations with David about them. Matteo spoke a lot about his friends, how much he loves them and how dumb they can be. He promised David that one day they would all hang out, emphasising how much he’d love Jonas. 

Most of the time they spent together was either hidden in the cupboards on the top floor of the dance school or in the safeness of Matteo’s flatshare. They could spend hours just talking and kissing, not caring about anyone or anything else in the world. So far, no one had met David as Matteo was trying to keep him as a closely guarded secret. It wasn’t because he was embarrassed or anything, it was more so because he was so infatuated by him that he didn’t want David to prefer any of his friends. He hadn’t told David this though.

Matteo wasn’t purposefully ignoring his friends, it’s just he quickly realised that his friends weren’t David and the only person who he wanted to be around was David. He often wouldn’t reply to what was said in the groupchat, and when he did it was half hearted and insincere. He wasn’t trying to block out his friends, but it wasn’t until he got an angry voice mail from Jonas that he realised what he was doing. He knew it wasn’t their fault and that he was being a bad friend, but he was so happy and the moment it was easy to be selfish. 

Another struggle they had was trying to be subtle when he was meant to be cleaning the school. All he wanted to do was pull David into a cupboard and make out with him for hours, but he knew that no one would be impressed if that’s how he spent his community service (except maybe his friends, if he told them). David would reassure him that no one would know a thing, most of the people in his class knowing he didn’t have friends and certainly wouldn’t start a friendship with Matteo. He had to apologise after saying that. Matteo knew he was right, but he was also confused as to why David didn’t have any friends, but David would always say that dance was more important.

The Second Years final show was in production, meaning that David had to spend an increasing amount of time in what Matteo would call the theatrical Hell. Matteo was unhappy because he show was stealing his valuable David time on a Saturday. After a lot of persuading from David, he finally agreed to let Matteo pick him up after a Saturday rehearsal, on the agreement that Matteo would stay hidden. Matteo nodded happily, and silently told himself that he was going to introduce David to his flatmates as well. 

Saturday came round soon enough and Matteo kept checking the time to see when he could leave without being too early. His flatmates watched him pace around the flat, unsure over his unusual amount of movement. As soon as his phone clock turned 13:24 he ran to the door, gave his friends a quick wave and left the flat. He knew it only took six minutes to get to BAA if he walked at a quickish pace, but if he was a minute or two late it meant he didn’t seem like he had been waiting. 

It made sense to Matteo.

He got to the school at 13:32, and hid in the same place he would find David at the end of his service for that day. He watched the dancers flood the steps outside the school, all chatting and laughing with each other. He could see why David didn’t have any friends here, they all seemed a little bit too energetic for both Matteo and David. 

Despite, arguably, not knowing David for that long, he felt like he knew David. He could tell anyone everything that David loved and hated, when David last cried and why (it was during The Notebook), what made David laugh until he couldn’t breathe. He could recall the story behind every scar scattered over David’s body, kissing each of them and apologising for not being there to save him from getting hurt. 

Soon he saw David’s dark figure emerge from the doors. He had the same look that he always had on his face, but this time he looked more tired. He held his bag awkwardly, it looking like the heaviest bag ever. He watched as David looked both ways cautiously before heading to the deserted bikeshed when Matteo would hide. 

“Hey,” Matteo whispered when David stepped into the shed. 

David didn’t waste anytime and greeted him with a kiss. Matteo smiled when they pulled away and took the heavy bag off of David.

“You look exhausted,” Matteo said, gently stroking David’s cheek with his thumb.

“Mmm, long day,” David breathed, closing his eyes and leaning into Matteo’s touch.

“Let’s get back to mine, I think there is a couch calling out for us,” Matteo said, stepping back from David to lead him out of the shed. 

“Don’t worry, we’re coming couch,” David laughed as they walked out. 

Matteo self consciously put his hood up, not wanting anyone to see them together for David’s sake. 

They walked a reasonable distance apart, until they turned down the alley that no one ever walked down, the one alley that led to the rough part of town. In that alley they entwined hands and started joking around with each other like they normally did. Matteo thought he could hear footsteps behind them, however he knew that it would be no one they knew and decided it was an old lady without even looking. 

The two boys raced back to the flatshare, both panting as they spoke into the intercom. They knew Matteo had a key but Matteo had realised it was a lot easier to get someone to open the door for him than actually do it himself. When they opened the door they raced up the stairs, tripping each other over and pulling them down. They were a giggling mess by the time Matteo pushed lazily against the door to open it. 

“Hello Matteo, forgot your keys again,” Hans said, walking into the hallway with a leopard print dressing gown on and holding a packet of crisps. “Oh, hello Matteo’s new friend.”

At the sound of that both Mia and Linn poked their heads round the corner to give David a smile. Matteo turned slightly red when Mia gave him a look, but tried to ignore it. 

“This is my friend, David,” Matteo mumbled, gesturing to David with a small smile on his face. 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you all,” David said brightly, letting Matteo drag him further into the room. 

“We were about to play a game, if you guys wanna join in?” Mia said happily, moving off the sofa so they could sit together. 

“Mario Kart!” Matteo shouted, in a way that was very unlike Matteo. All three of them pick up on it but chose to ignore it as David was laughing at him. 

“Are you sure you’re ready to admit defeat Florenzi?” David joked sarcastically, a wicked grin on his face. 

“Bit early to be so cocky Schreibner,” Matteo smirked, but still looked at David like he could melt. “I’m sick at Mario Kart, aren’t I guys?”

“You’re shit,” Linn muttered from the bean bag, a book in her hand.

The four who decided to play, agreed to split into two teams. Matteo and Mia against Hans and David. The first couple of games were good, with both teams winning an equal amount. However, it wasn’t long before it became a competition between Matteo and David. Both were fighting for first place, and wouldn’t accept defeat. 

There was a lot of yelling and swearing as they pushed and shoved each other on the couch. At the last moment David took the lead, causing Matteo to let out and broken yell as he threw the remote on the floor.

“I hate you, I hate you,” He laughed as he wrestled David on the couch. Obviously, David was a lot stronger than Matteo so pushed him away easily but only meant that Matteo would come back more annoyed. They both were laughing like they had told a joke only they knew.

Mia and Hans looked on fondly, it being obvious how despite their fighting they were clearly being careful with each other and there was a hint of flirting in each movement. It was a side of Matteo they had never seen before and it made them smile to see Matteo so like himself, not scared or self conscious. He was happy.

After the game, Matteo and David headed to Matteo’s room. Hans joked about leaving the door open earning a middle finger from Matteo and the reddening of cheeks. Matteo’s room was like it always was, dark and mellow. He crawled onto his bed, trying to find a joint he had rolled this morning. He knew it was somewhere in sheets. David looked on confused, Matteo told David he smoked but he had never done so in front of him. 

He eventually found the joint and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. He took David’s hand and led him to the window sill where he opened the window and climbed up and dangled his legs out. David followed suit and grabbed onto Matteo’s hand so he didn’t fall. Matteo put the joint behind his lips and lit it up. He inhaled deeply, and sighed at the relief it gave him. He offered the joint to David who smiled but shook his head.

“I can’t, smoking and dancing don’t really go,” David said, “Plus, you look really hot smoking,” 

Matteo laughed at that and shoved David gently. They started chatting about stupid things like they normally did, mostly random would you rathers. It was immature but they learnt the most about each other over stupid quizzes and chaste kisses. 

“Would you rather wear a dress and heels for a day or wear a garbage bag and Crocs?” Matteo mused, his head resting on his knee as he looked intently at David. 

He watched as David looked around nervously, but he wasn’t sure why he would be nervous, there was no one else around.

“Garbage outfit, easy,” David replied, a nervous smile on his face. 

“Really? I’d wear the dress, it can’t be that bad,” Matteo laughed, not thinking about it any further.

“Scared you wouldn’t be able to pull off Crocs?” David joked, laughing at Matteo’s offended face. 

After a while, the two boys gravitated to Matteo’s bed where they curled up and messed with each others fingers. Matteo’s favourite thing about David, apart from his face, were his hands. He could spend hours looking at the details of each finger and running his hands over every line and curve. There was something so intimate about hands to Matteo and his knew David’s like he knew his own. 

Matteo checked his phone, not looking for anything in particular, just checking to see if he should reply to any of the ok.cool group messages. Instead, he had got several private messages from Jonas.

Jonas: [picture message]  
Bro this picture is going around  
Is it you? You have that coat and i dont think anyone else does  
Luigi  
Bro, just talk to me when you can

Matteo stared at the picture. It was him and David holding hands down the alley. You couldn’t see Matteo’s face but it was a clear that it was David’s side profile. Matteo didn’t know what to do. He looked up at David with wide eyes and a scared look on his face. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?” David asked softly, moving closer to Matteo. 

Matteo didn’t say anything but instead just showed the picture to David. He looked equally as shocked and buried his head in his hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally back in England so hopefully, the updates will be a little more regular :))

**Author's Note:**

> Any comments/kudos would be appreciated, ily x


End file.
